What does Depression feel like?
Depression feels different for everyone. We all experience Depression in unique ways, from the number and severity of symptoms, to how we cope with this crippling and potentially fatal “invisible” illness. For me, Depression feels like drowning. Or, I guess I should say it feels like what I imagine it would be like to drown.
Have a look at this picture. What do you see? When I look at this picture, I see a woman who has fallen into a blue abyss. She doesn’t struggle or fight to break the surface. She simply accepts her place. She can see the sky through the clear blue water, the brightness, the possibilities, and the life she could have. But she doesn’t reach for it. She allows herself to sink lower and lower.
She accepts her existence in the blue abyss, and waits hopes for the day when she can finally breathe again.For me, this is Depression. This is how it has felt for me. It’s as if I could see the possibility of living a happy life, and all I had to do was break the surface of that water. But I didn’t. It’s not that I couldn’t do it, because I don’t think that I tried. And people judged me, and blamed me for not trying. It wasn’t that I couldn’t break the surface of that water; it was that I couldn’t even try.
It took all of my strength (in fact it took more strength than I thought I had) just to get up every day, go to school, go to work, and crawl back in to bed. It was a living hell, a nightmare. And they were right, I wasn't trying. But they didn't understand that I couldn't. I just couldn’t. I wanted to, I really did. I just couldn't.
For me, Depression feels like drowning. The crushing weight of sadness and despair slowly starts to compress my lungs, and I panic. Then I start to realize that for some reason, I’m not floating back up to the surface. I wonder if and how I will ever survive this. And then, sometimes as suddenly as it all began, I’m above water. I can breathe again.
What does Depression feel like for you? Share and comment below.
Picture Source: Eyes of Odysseus
Originally published for Depression Ever After on August 18 2014 at
My name is Rain, and this is from my blog about Depression. My goal is to share my Depression Story so that others might learn from my mistakes and find inspiration in my success.
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