Focus on your body
It's actually impossible to focus your attention onto your body and worry at the same time. Try it! Focus all of your attention on the feeling in your feet and toes. Notice the way they feel inside your shoes, pay attention to any tingles and their temperature. When we're fully focused on our bodies, there's no room for worry or overthinking and a calmness can take over the mind. You can do this anywhere to instantly start to feel calmer. Get moving Often a racing mind can be caused by an excess of adrenaline in the body. We we perceive something as a threat, adrenaline is produced in an attempt to help us to deal with the situation. But this can mean our thoughts are all over the place and it's hard to concentrate on anything and feel calm. Exercise can help in a number of different ways. It can help us to burn off excess adrenaline and produce feel good hormones in the body that induce a sense of calm. In fact, the National Health Service in the UK say that if exercise was a medication, it would be one of the most effective ever! Acts of Kindness It's all too easily to get caught up in our own concerns – but something really interesting happens when we turn our attention to helping someone else. We're distracted away from our own troubles! Doing an act of kindness has been shown to help you to feel more positive as well as boosting your sense of worth and value. Things like giving up your seat, buying food for a homeless person or paying someone a compliment could all help you to calm your mind and feel better. Get it written down Thoughts and worries can go around and around in our heads endlessly. However something interesting happens when we write down our thoughts. We get it 'out' of our minds and into black and white. Somehow, seeing it written down helps us to get a clearer perspective on things. We're also offloading it and this can be a big relief. Try it by just putting pen to paper and writing a stream of consciousness. As any thought or worry pops into your head, write it down. It can be helpful to do this is the morning to set you up for the day, or at night to calm your mind before bed. Be Present Being more present is one the best ways to calm the mind. If we're truly focused on what we're doing and experiencing in the here and now, we're distracted away from worries and concerns. Being present is like a muscle, we have to exercise it and when we do it gets stronger. Practise paying close attention to the things that you're doing; if you're doing the washing up, notice all the sensations, the things you see, feel and smell. If you're walking along the street, practise being present then too, notice the feeling of the ground underfoot, the air on your skin, the sights and sounds around you. When we tune into our senses and pay attention, it's almost impossible to worry at the same time. Take time for yourself When it's all go go go, it's no wonder our minds can feel anything but calm. We're so often bombarded with information, demands on our attention and things that we have to do. How can you build some time and space into your day to give yourself a mental break? Perhaps consider a walk at lunchtime or some time to read a book, talk to a friend or get some exercise. Taking some time for yourself is a vital part of helping you to feel your best and helping your mind to function at it's best too! Talk to someone Our thoughts can seem a lot more terrible when we keep them all to ourselves. Talking to a friend or loved one and 'getting things out' can be an amazing way of releasing the mental burden. Don't keep things all to yourself, reach out to others and know that you are not alone. I'd love to hear from you about any tips you have for calming the mind. Let us know in the comments. Chloe Brotheridge
Chloe Brotheridge is an anxiety therapist and Calm Coach. Get a FREE relaxation MP3, one of the most powerful tools for creating more mental calm, by signing up at www.calmer-you.com
Connect With Chloe Facebook: @Calmeryou2 Twitter:@CBrotheridge
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Last Saturday was a day of mindfulness meditation and learning with a small group of like-minded people who left me on a relaxed high. That all changed on Sunday morning with a distressing phone call from my daughter. She was in tears as she shared with me that her ‘Nanny’, her second mum, was seriously ill and had only 24 hours to live.
My emotions churned. But as I worked through my sadness, worry and grief over the next few days, what became clear to me was the ways I use mindfulness to navigate through emotional speed bumps. The initial pain was almost physical. My body closed up and my mind shut down as anxiety and the associated stress responses kicked in. So it was very early the next morning that I found myself wide-awake and experiencing intense and demanding thoughts about this sad situation. But as I lay there I became curious about this situation and how much of my energy and attention it was demanding. What was the source of my demanding thoughts and why had they imposed themselves on my mind in such a forceful way? But then I had a light bulb moment! I realised that I didn’t need to cling to these thoughts and the associated emotions and at that point I made a conscious decision that I wasn’t going to let this situation the opportunity to overwhelm me, especially at this time of the night. What I did next was turn to my mindfulness practice through focusing on my breathing. Deliberately and calmly I slowed my breathing. (What works best for me is to breath in for the count of 5 and out for the count a 10.) It took some minutes to release myself from the steel trap in my mind. Each time I felt myself spinning off track, I simply acknowledged that I was ‘thinking’ and returned the focus to my breathing. Finally, I got back to sleep. Isn’t it extraordinary how an emotional shock or confrontation can demand so much of our attention - even well after the event? In the past I wouldn’t have noticed the impact. Rather I would have just gone for the ride with the thoughts and emotions, no matter how long they take to dissipate. But now, after three years of mindfulness meditation practice I realise I have learned the skill of observing my thoughts and letting them go! I can also use meditation practice to ease the physical pain and anxiety responses that I often experience when under stress. It provides a lot of relief. So why do I allow my mind to be filled with so much debris that it prevents me from enjoying the moment? The good news is that I am increasingly developing the knowledge and tools to support my healing. I am learning to trust myself to find pathways to repair both my body and soul. I can tidy the junk shop of my mind! Leigh Johnson
For 30 years I worked hard, creating a successful business and raising four children with my husband, Grant. Then came a major crisis in 2012 due to a prolonged deep depression topped off with general anxiety. (I had experienced periods of mild depression before but had always been able to shrug these off.) The death of a dear friend, my mother’s dementia and too many years of ignoring the signs of stress finally caught up on me.
It’s been a long, lonely and dark ride at times. Currently my moods are good but the continuing anxiety symptoms serve to remind me to be patient with myself. Thanks to medication, meditation, family and friends, plus a healthy dose of bravery, I am making good progress. My wish is to live every day with more grace by being kinder to myself, helping others and staying creative. Website: www.leighjohnsonnz.com Twitter: @leighjohnsonnz This revised article was first published with noozhawk.com on 6-25-15 under the title “How Toastmasters can Turn Fear Into Empowerment” If you suffer from the common—but debilitating—fear of public speaking, struggle with social anxiety, and/or want to sharpen your communication and leadership skills, a visit to one of your local Toastmasters clubs can be an effective start towards a rewarding journey from fear to empowerment. A nonprofit (and very affordable organization to join), Toastmasters International, which was established in the U.S. nearly a century ago, is built on group encouragement. Their club mission statement summarizes the supportive atmosphere that Toastmasters clubs all around the world (according to the Toastmasters International Website, there are 14,650 clubs in 126 countries) embrace: “We provide a supportive and positive learning experience in which members are empowered to develop communication and leadership skills, resulting in greater self-confidence and personal growth.” The benefits members experience are both expected and surprising. Real estate agent Pat Costello, who is an active Toastmasters member and is currently serving as president at her local club says that besides the increasingly effective communication skills that she’s seen herself and others acquire, Toastmasters has also become a place where she’s been able to better hone her listening skills. She feels, too, that even though every member has most likely felt some level of discomfort, the supportive environment that a Toastmasters club provides helps people grow out of their fears, which then increases personal confidence. Barc Holmes, the President and CEO of Deliverse Consulting, is a three-year member of Toastmasters. An engaging speaker, Holmes states that Toastmasters has not only improved his speech writing, but has also helped him learn how to connect in front of a crowd. He’s surprised with how the power of humor helps this connection, even in speeches with a serious message. Holmes originally joined to overcome his fear of public speaking, and continues on with the organization in order to “…learn how to write better in a way that moves people.” A dedicated member for over 16 years and past president of her local Toastmasters club, website and marketing consultant wiz Jacky Lopez says that Toastmasters is “…the greatest organization I’ve joined since I came to this country…” Lopez states that beyond the empowering gift of learning that it’s okay to speak her mind, as well as giving her the opportunity to shed her fear of public speaking, Toastmasters has also proved to be a positive group experience in which she’s able to meet people from a variety of backgrounds and nationalities. An active member (who has also served in the past as a club president), Albert Mercado has been involved with the organization for 20 years. Mercado, a retired engineer and extraordinary storyteller, first joined because he wanted to improve his public speaking skills and feel comfortable in front of an audience. With time, he found that his presentation skills improved so tremendously that he was continuously selected to speak in front of customers and fellow employees. He was also pleasantly surprised to find that it became very enjoyable to appear in front of the public and speak. A mentor and inspiration to members at his local club, Mercado says, “The hardest part is to make the decision to attend meetings, but once you go over that hurdle, you’ll enjoy the friendly atmosphere, the support you receive, and in a short time you’ll see the progress that you will be making. During my years at Toastmasters I have seen many very successful stories.” When member Barc Holmes was asked what advice he’d offer someone contemplating on joining a Toastmasters club, he shared this: “Jump in, get nervous, screw up, laugh it off, and keep going.” This is the spirit of Toastmasters, where members know it’s okay to make mistakes because everyone is there to learn. In the supportive atmosphere that a Toastmasters club provides, fear can often blossom into empowerment through the simple, but powerful act of practicing in a safe and friendly environment. Tracy Shawn, M.A.
— Tracy Shawn, M.A., lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her award-winning debut novel,The Grace of Crows, is about how an anxiety-ridden woman finds happiness through the most unexpected of ways — and characters. Click here for more information about Shawn, or click here to visit her author page on Facebook. Follow her on Twitter: @TracyShawn. The opinions expressed are her own.
Aye so, another blog, a few paragraphs of wisdom, an insight into my personal experience of post traumatic stress disorder and the symptoms associated with it, the depression, the anxiety, the feelings of failure, the need to stay safe, the loneliness, the turmoil that would flow through my mind. To be honest I can’t really remember half the symptoms and to me that’s a result, another reminder of how far I have came and the victories I have achieved since my first blog in May 2013.
If you’re that interested in the symptoms and my battles you will find all my previous blogs via whitburn1980@wordpress.com or on twitter @weaselblogs. If you are suffering from PTSD or other mental health conditions they might be worth a read, they’ll let you see that your demons can be beaten, controlled, I’m not really sure what the best term to use is but I’m pretty content with where I am mentally now. I don’t even know why I am attempting to write this blog, previously they’ve been used to get thoughts out of my head that is haunting or controlling me, stuff that I needed to say but couldn’t or found too hard to. I’ve also used them to give some practical advice to others that are going through similar but haven’t been fortunate enough to receive the professional help that I have. I also like to use them to give others hope, hope that one day things will get easier for them. Hope that they too can win their battles and find this contention mentally. I’m not going to do that with this one as I think it’s just going to get repetitive. I think I want to use this blog to highlight the importance of being open and honest about your problems and the benefits that come with this honesty. I know it’s hard to open up, it would feel like a defeat, a sign of weakness, a failure, it honestly isn’t. It’s been the single best decision I have ever made, it’s led me to being the most confident and content mentally that I have ever been. It took me to get to the lowest I could get to before I could admit I had a problem, I was forced into opening up and admitting my problems, sharing my fears, telling the people I love why I was acting the way I was and how my mind was out of control. Who wants to tell someone that they believe they are going crazy and that the world and everything in it scares you. Maybe if I didn’t get that low I would never have opened up, I’d maybe never have sought the professional help that I did, I’d maybe be spending the rest of my life battling my thoughts and believing I was weaker and inferior to everyone else because I had all these irrational thoughts, I had all those social anxieties and all those fears that were stopping me from living. I’m not saying I am the man I want to be now that I’ve dealt with my demons but what I am is content mentally and I have belief and confidence in life, myself and the world around me. My mind now works as logically as it has ever done and my thinking is calm and under control. I’m maybe lucky that PTSD can be a temporary condition; maybe mine wasn’t as severe as it can be, maybe I just got a right good psychologist, who knows but I’m in a great place mentally and I never ever thought I would get here this quickly or get here at all. I’ve learned along the way that most people have anxieties, fears, worries, it’s perfectly normal, it becomes a problem when it takes control of you and stops you acting the way you truly want to act and when it stops you doing the stuff you love and enjoy. When I started my psychology sessions, I decided to be as honest as I could with my psychologist, this was my chance to get everything out of my head and find out why I was acting and thinking the way I was, I wanted answers, I wanted to be normal again, I wanted to be able to compare myself to my peers and feel on equal par again. We talked through my fears and my way of thinking, Laura my psychologist explained why I was thinking what I was and acting the way I was. In that first session she diagnosed what I had, explained all the symptoms and told me how I was going to beat it. I came out of that first session and I knew I had to be as honest with everyone in my life, friends, family, and my girlfriend at the time, my work colleagues. I didn’t know how to go about this but I needed to. I needed them to know what was going in my illogical mind. The only thing I could come up with was one of these ramblings and soon I had my first blog. Within minutes of sharing my first blog, I received incredible messages of support and some amazing words of wisdom, people who I believed to be far stronger and greater than me would tell me about what they feared or told me they felt similar. They told me how brave I was to be as open and honest, I didn’t feel brave I just felt this feeling of pressure lifting off of me, my mind slowing down a bit, a sense of pleasure that I had took this action and it was so positive. This is where I believe being open and honest has been a massive help to me. People couldn’t wait to offer support, an ear to let off steam into, words of wisdom or simply to tell me that I was loved and a far better person than I believed myself to be. Since that first blog I continue to be open and honest and I shall for the rest of my life. I’ve realised It’s just me that can make me feel inferior, only me, can deal with my thinking and keep it under control. I believe if I am going to stay on this path, where I am positive and living the way I want to live I need to continue being as open and honest. The lies I told to stay safe when I was ill will probably frustrate me for a while yet, that’s why now I am so honest. When am having a bad day, which has been very rare, I’ll talk about it, I try to share the wisdom and knowledge I have gained from my experiences to help others. I ask you that if you are toiling open up and you will see the love and wisdom people can give you. The ability to stay connected and talk to your friends and family is part of the solution in terms of things getting easier and better for you. I’ve managed to help a few other people who have issues with my honesty and that’s what it’s all about, giving that wee bit back and breaking down the stigma. You soon realise that you aren’t alone, depression and anxiety are more common than you imagine, it’s just some people hide it better than others or have the skills to keep it under control. Anyway, I’m not really sure I’ve achieved what I wanted to with this blog and I don’t feel it’s as strong as my others but maybe that’s a sign of where I am and how positive I am feeling. It’s hard for me to recall the feelings, the fears, the symptoms, it all just seems like a journey that I was meant to take in order for me to help others and learn so much about myself, love and life. It has been two years since I got discharged from my psychology sessions, in that time I’ve completed my first year at university studying psychology and I’ve regained my life and had so much fun with friends and family. Life can change in moments, my attack and breakdown demonstrates that but it can also change for the better. That moment I tweeted my first blog was a massive help to me, the moment I walked into that room for my first session my life started improving again. What’s the worst thing that can happen if you try opening up? I guarantee you it probably won’t be as bad as you think. The human race can be an understanding and caring lot when they need to be. I rely on them when I do have my moments of anxious thoughts, they don’t happen that often but when they do, I’m not long in discussing my irrational and illogical thoughts. Anyway keep on keeping on Love and peace Weasel Kevin Welsh Kevin I sufferes from PTSD and got a bit lost for a while. He's now trying to spread the word regarding mental health and breaking the stigma. Connect with Kevin on Twitter: @weaselblogs
I had my first panic attack at the age of 16, I had always been an anxious child but it tended to come in “waves” and it just seemed to be extreme nervousness. I was driving to a friend’s house when it hit me. One of the worst things about panic attacks is that you remember each and every one, where you were, you were with and what time of day it was. I was alone at an intersection I had passed every day on my way to school and it was at night. My hands started shaking on the wheel and my stomach dropped like I was on a roller coaster. I was sweating and felt like I couldn’t breathe or see straight. I quickly turned the car around and zoomed home, scared for my life and unsure of what had just happened to me.
After this episode I stopped going out with my friends and struggled in many different situations, having panic attacks on a daily basis. I was finally diagnosed with panic disorder with agoraphobia a few months later. This affected me to the point where I couldn’t even get into a car and drive to the end of my street without having a full on panic attack. I used to swim competitively and the fear and anxiety took over my life so much so that I had to stop racing. I was letting the anxiety control my life as it quickly passed me by. I could not understand how my friends were able to so easily drive miles from their homes with no fears or anxiety. I continued receiving help and meeting with different doctors, but every day was a struggle or an argument. I would fight with my parents because I could not go to school without having multiple panic attacks in class and I would beg them to let me stay home. These panic attacks continued throughout the day and I was too embarrassed to tell my friends or teachers what was going on so I struggled in silence. Eventually it came time to leave for college and with the help and support of my parents and doctors I left for the University of Illinois to study Speech and Hearing Science. It was there that I became much more comfortable with myself and with discussing mental health and illness. I learned that the minute you become afraid of the panic is when it truly controls you. I am now 22, I just graduated from the University of Illinois with honors and I am going on to graduate school to study speech-language pathology. I still struggle with my anxiety but it gets so much better, I wish someone had told me that. I wish mental illness was not stigmatized to the point where I felt uncomfortable talking about it with some of my closest friends. Whenever I had a cold or the flu I told them I was sick without a second thought but for some reason I was so embarrassed about this part of my life that I couldn’t bring myself to share it with them. I want those still struggling to know that it may be hard to see when you’re in such a dark and hopeless place, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Samantha Medland
About Samantha
Samantha is a 22 year-old graduate student studying speech-language pathology. She has struggled with anxiety and panic disorder for six years and continues to overcome obstacles daily while supporting and advocating for others. You can follow her story through her Instagram @samanthajamie28 or Twitter @samanthajamie28.
I wanted to share with you and celebrate my personal victory today. It was a moment where all my anxiety triggers were pressed at once, but instead of succumbing to panic I breathed through it, I talked to myself logically about why I was ok, and I persevered while keeping my cool! What an achievement.
As you can see from the title I tried Soul Cycle for the first time last weekend. A friend has been going for months and is completely OBSESSED. Then one day she said to me “I cried at Soul today.” “OMG why?!” I asked. “I prefer my students in ponytails so I can imagine them…as ponies.” She told me “The music was just so perfect, and the instructor was saying all the things I needed to hear to deal with the tough shit in my life, and I was really feeling it, so I cried. You’ve got to come. It will change your life.” “Ok, I’ll try your cult.” I thought. I’ve seen Kimmy Schmidt. I know what goes on at these places. So I signed up. I mean, it wasn’t quite that easy. First I had to call the studio and buy my $20 First Time Ride (a huge discount from the normal $35). Then I had to be on the computer at precisely 11:59am on a Monday so that when the clock struck 12pm I could refresh the screen and reserve a bike for a Saturday class with Pixie (yep) before it sells out within 30 seconds. Seriously. I failed at this the first week. The second week I was successful and even able to get the bike right next to my friend! I knew the class would be hard. I was walking in with some nerves because I was anticipating challenge and I didn’t quite know what to expect. But I have been to enough yoga classes to know that you can’t let competition and ego push you to do more than you can do, especially when you’re a newbie, and I was going to stick to that. My friend was being a doll and giving me all the advice she could beforehand. “Some of these women are beasts. They’ve been doing it a long time. Don’t feel like you need to compete with them. I was sore for a week after my first time.” Then I saw the people coming out of the previous class. They looked…awful! They were bright red and soaked in sweat. Like, somehow wetter than a fully drenched person, because they were actively producing wetness. My friend whispers to me “I feel like that teacher isn’t as good. They never come out nearly as sweaty as we do.” “Aca-WHAT?!” Then we walk into the room and I see the real reason these people were purging bodily fluids at such an alarming rate. The room is HOT. Not heated, just not air conditioned, and it is so much smaller than I had imagined and packed as tightly with bikes as it could possibly be. And it’s DARK. The only light in the whole room is coming from about 6 candles placed around the instructor’s altar. I lock my feet into the pedals and a staffer shows me the emergency button to press “If you start to feel faint”. HOT?…CRAMPED?…DARK?…LOUD?…FAINT?! These are literally ALL of my anxiety trigger words. I know right then and there that this is not my kind of thing. But what to do now? I have already raised my hand and singled myself out as the sole newbie, and the entire class has applauded for me. I could gracefully(?) leave and never come back, which would be ok, but what I really want to do is stick it out, breathe through the experience…and then never come back. And the voice in my head said “Reba, you can do this.” So as we start pedaling I make the choice to stay calm and not panic. First I firmly resolve that I am never going to push myself to the point of extreme exertion. I am going to ride at a reasonable pace, keep the resistance low, and half ass all the “bike-ography”. That way there’s never even a chance that I would actually become faint. Then I had to get over the less than ideal environment. Since the music’s too loud and it’s too hot and the bikes are too close I put a little invisible dome around my personal area. That is my personal meditating space. I didn’t look up and around at everything else. I stayed in the world of my bike, with my little towel placed over the handlebars just so to match everyone else, and my little water bottle in it’s holder which I reached for frequently so I would never have a reason for my anxiety monster to think I was getting dehydrated. This class is only 45 minutes! I can do this for 45 minutes! I can do anything for 45 minutes! I made it through the class. There were even times when I thought “Hey, I’m not doing so bad at this.” Then the class finally ended, and everyone applauded for me…again. Then I walked out of the class and thought “Oh I feel bad.” But not fainting bad. And not panic bad. Just like I’d done an exercise class that was way more taxing than probably is necessary. I went home and drank 2 cans of coconut water and slept all day, but I didn’t panic! And that is my success story. This episode is brought to you by Tina Fey, Ellie Kemper, and the number 10. Thank you ladies for one of my favorite 48 hours of TV. Reba Buhr
Reba Buhr is an actor, singer, voiceover artist, and host residing in Los Angeles, CA and the author of the blog Millennial Zen. She first became acquainted with her generalized anxiety disorder and her proclivity toward panic attacks while she was a sophomore at Occidental College. Since then she has devoted herself to studying and sharing effective coping methods so she can continue performing for a living while keeping panic at bay.
Connect With Reba Blog: www.millennialzen.com Twitter: www.twitter.com/millennialzen Facebook: www.facebook.com/therebabuhr Personal Website: www.rebabuhr.com
Day 1 in MY life with Anxiety
By Iain Jones Firstly this is not DAY 1 of my Anxiety, This is DAY 1 of when I have been able to publicly speak and share my experiences. Will there be a DAY 2? Who knows? What I do know is that MY Anxiety does not have an agenda or follows a stringent routine. So why the capital ‘MY’…… This is how MY Anxiety impacts on MY life, there are millions of Anxiety suffers around the world but like a fingerprint or DNA, it is unique to the individual. Some people may agree and relate to what I say, some people may not, that is fine, I am not controversial but at the same time these are MY experiences and not a generic stereotypical attack on Anxiety and/or Mental Health. When did it all begin……….. I have suffered from Anxiety/Depression for approximately 16 years, the first episode back in 1999 when as a 21 year old I struggled massively with change and being alone. A new job opportunity saw me fly the nest for the first time and move away from my friends and family to an area not far away but far enough for me to feel the difficulty of integrating into a new society. I was young and naïve and my usual positive attitude became soaked up in the sponge of negativity and worry. Simple solution…. pack bags and move home. No, this was not an option, I didn’t want to be seen as a failure. Most nights were spent alone, I struggled to find the motivation to be part of a crowd. My nights involved myself and sitting in darkness, I had very little contact with my friends and family, yes there was mobile phones, just! but communication forms such as Social Media did not exist, even Text Messages, were at the time, unheard of. I was becoming a recluse, trapped in a life that I had pursued but one I couldn’t leave because of my sheer stubbornness. I did however create a wall, a wall that nobody could see through, I decorated the outside of this wall with all the things I wanted people to see and believe while I shied behind it, frantically replacing the bricks whenever I felt I had given too much away. I didn’t want help, I didn’t want pity, I just wanted it all buried under a blanket of denial. The strain of the false feelings and increasing levels of despair accumulated in a failed suicide attempt in 2000. THIS may surprise people who read this and know me, only my family and those closest to me are aware this. I am still haunted to this very day of the picture of my parents face when I regained consciousness, the sadness, the regret and sheer helplessness they had was truly heart breaking. My wall was demolished, I moved back home and I sought professional help. There is a lot of stigma attached to seeking professional help through counselling, Psychiatrists and even medication, especially in young adults. They feel somewhat embarrassed, ashamed even of having to rely on someone or something to enable to find the right passage back to normality. I was exactly the same, I fought not to be part of this, it was literally the brute strength of my family and friends that got me onto the Professional help highway and I am 100% glad they did. Taking a brief step back the present, I have to note that this was me then, not now. 16 years of finding my feet, maturing and incorporating MY own strategies with those of the professionals has removed me from that dark hole and I will never be in that situation (yes its a bold statement but it MY statement) again. My life now is full of positivity fueled by my unconditional love for my daughter and my passion to be the best Father I can be. Speaking of ‘Father’ I unfortunately lost mine when I was a young child through a Brain Aneurysm, was this instrumental to the events around 1999/2000? maybe, maybe not. I will never look for excuses or reasons for what happened even when people (the professionals) tell me otherwise. The death of my ‘Dad’ never really impacted on me, I was too young to understand or even grieve, to this day I have never grieved for him, does this make me a bad person? I miss him, yes. I regret not having my Dad in my life, yes. Has my life been worse without him, no. Controversial? I hope not. Everyone who has suffered from Depression and/or anxiety will all have their own reasoning or theories why they have. There is no external person anywhere to tell them they are right or wrong. I know that sharing MY experiences will not be the worlds answer to dealing with these issue but they are part of helping MY answer. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog, I do plan on posting more about MY present day battle with Anxiety Iain
About Iain Jones: I am a 37 year old male and sufferer of Anxiety, that is all.
I intend to use this ‘blog’ to share my experiences within my world and how a day in MY life goes. This is not a diary, I am not Adrian Mole, this will be a sporadic account if and when I feel I need to. Blog: https://iainjon3s.wordpress.com/ Twitter: @iainjon3s
Not much to say about it. I’m feeling better now, out smoking a cigar. It was over a work issue that I don’t want to get into too much detail about here. Or that’s what triggered it. My anxiety issues run pretty deep, and even though I’ve made a tremendous amount of progress in managing it today seemed like a reminder that it’s always just right there, waiting for the right time to strike when I’ve let my guard down. It’s been awhile since I’ve needed a Klondike Bar (the nickname my sister gave the Clonidine). I may need to carry it with me for the next few days. But nearly as important as carrying it is recognizing that needing it is not a weakness. There are a number of tools at my disposal for managing the anxiety, from regular mindfulness meditation, taking quiet time for myself to work through issues (usually with a cigar) and being able to talk about it, either here on the blog or with someone, as I did today with my dad. Using those tools is a sign of strength, a reminder that I can manage the anxiety. The weakness is bottling it up or turning back to alcohol. Maybe weakness isn’t the right word. It’s the choice that won’t help me, but weakness has an air of judgment that I don’t want anyone who has made that choice to feel bad about. I’ve been there and it’s so hard to recognize at the time that it may not be a productive option. Anyway, I had a panic attack today. I’m trying to learn from it.
Originally posted at: paulsletters.com About Paul Banuski: Paul Banuski is a thirty-one year old managing his depression and anxiety issues. In March of 2014 he survived a suicide attempt, and since then has been treating his mental health through a combination of therapy, medication and mindfulness practice. He writes about his experiences at PaulsLetters.com, a blog that touches on mental health, religion, politics, media and how they intersect. He lives in the Finger Lakes region of New York. Website: www.paulsletters.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/paulslttrs Twitter: @PaulsLttrs E-mail: paul@paulsletters.com
The major problem when it comes to Mental Health issues is not the person, not the illness, but the fact that such issues are surrounded by a cloud of silence and stigma.
Mixed anxiety and depression is the most common mental health disorder in Britain, with 9.7% of the population experiencing it. During my second year of University, the pressure of exams was looming and I found myself in a place I had never previously been – one filled with anxiety, feelings of failure and a constant fear that I would never be good enough to embark upon the career that I had worked so hard for. At the time that my journey with anxiety began, I was putting in 14 hour stints at the library – that seemed like normality for the majority of students at my University. I thought that I was fine, I had always prided myself on my emotional strength. That was, until it came to the date of my Contract Law exam and I had a panic attack in the library whilst I was attempting to read through my revision notes. It had taken me around two hours to read one page and it was clear that something was wrong. I didn’t want to have a panic attack, but I couldn’t stop it and, honestly, I had no idea what was going on. I didn’t know what a panic attack was, but I was left shaking and crying uncontrollably on the quiet floor of the library, 2 hours before what was, in my mind, the most important exam of my life. Of course, it wasn’t- that was the anxiety talking. I had been revising for around two months – I should have been ready for exams. I was ready, but my brain would not let me pass this wall of panic in front of me. Funnily enough, I actually had no idea that there was a problem with my mental health until the day that I had that first panic attack. Following that, things started to click in to place and I realised that, for the two months prior to that panic attack, revision had taken over my life and I was rarely eating and barely sleeping. My room was a mess (which was very unlike me) and, in all honesty, I was too. I sought help from my GP, and utilised the help of IAPT. I was given medication to help to control my anxiety (Citalopram worked really well for me and I, thankfully, haven’t had to chop and change pills to find what suits me). I attended Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which taught me to change the way that I thought. Apparently, doing this means that I am in a minority – a YouGov survey of 2300 adults in Britain carried out for Mental Health Awareness Week 2014 found that one fifth of people who have experienced anxiety do nothing to cope with it. Indeed, fewer than one in ten people have sought help from their GP to deal with anxiety. At first, admitting that I had a problem made me feel that I was weak. Once I had come to terms with my anxiety disorder and felt that I could tell those closest to me about it, I found that most people’s instant reaction would be to ask ‘Well, what are you anxious about?’ There was absolutely no malicious intent behind that question, it was just a question that simply could not be answered. As Critchley (2009) has stated, “If fear is fearful of something particular and determinate, then anxiety is anxious about nothing in particular and is indeterminate”. It can be difficult to come to terms with the fact that you have anxiety whilst at the same time having absolutely no idea why. Now that my anxiety disorder is behind me and I have learnt to cope with any feelings of anxiety that I may experience, I feel slightly angry when I look back at that time of my life – that I didn’t know that I had a problem until it was too late. If only more people spoke out about mental health issues, and the help available were promoted further, people may not have to wait for their mental health issues to manifest themselves externally before they are able to receive help. People simply do not talk enough about mental health issues and, even whilst writing this, I feel a sense of worry that people may look down upon me because of my experience with anxiety. That is wrong. In the UK, one in four people will experience some kind of mental health illness in the course of a year. That’s a lot of people, and it’s likely that the majority of those people are too frightened to speak about their experiences, for fear of discrimination and being ridiculed. We need to raise awareness of mental health issues and let people know that it is ok to speak out about their experiences. Speaking of your experiences with a mental health issue, whilst a bit daunting at first, is actually incredibly refreshing and, you never know, you could be the difference between someone suffering in silence or attending their GP and getting the help that they need. During Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, I learnt more about what a panic attack was, and what the early signs of an attack were for me personally. Some techniques which helped me included focusing on something other than the attack. It used to be that I would be so worried and anxious that I would have a panic attack that I brought one on myself. My therapist told me to focus on colours, perhaps the colours of different leaves on a tree. I personally preferred to rub tea tree oil or some other scent on my wrists and simply focus on smelling that. It sounds so simple but it really did work. Another simple thing that can make a huge difference is to talk about any issues you may be having with those around you. I was able to talk to my friends and my partner who were incredibly helpful and, as some of my friends also had mental health issues of their own, I was able to use some of their advice (the smelling scent distraction actually came from my best friend whose mum is an aromatherapist). I also really like ‘The Quiet Place’ at http://thequietplaceproject.com/thequietplacewhich had the effect of basically bringing me back to normality. For me, my anxiety was mainly linked to exam stress and the general hardship of life. The Quiet Place is great as it allowed me to take a step back and really put my fears into perspective, the majority of which were totally irrational. Mental Health is no longer something that should only be spoken about behind closed doors and I hope that we, as a society, are now moving in the right direction towards a better understanding of mental health issues and a more accepting approach towards those who suffer. In talking about mental health issues, we raise awareness and it is that awareness of such issues that will help those suffering to get the help that they need. I have struggled with anxiety and have overcome it, hopefully by speaking out we can help others to do the same. Ashlee Originally published: ashleementalhealth.wordpress.com
Ashlee is an Admin Assistant at Blavo & Co Solicitors in Gateshead and has a keen interest in Mental Health, hoping to become a Mental Health Solicitor in the future.
Connect with Ashlee : @AC_mentalhealth
By TRACY SHAWN, MA
“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.” ~James Baldwin, American author (1924-1987) In The Power of Myth, the late scholar and famous mythologist Joseph Campbell explains that stories help give us relevance and meaning to our lives and that “… in popular novels, the main character is a hero or heroine who has found or done something beyond the normal range of achievement and experience.” In response to Campbell’s discussion about how the hero’s journey in myth and literature is about creating a more mature — and better — version of oneself, the distinguished journalist Bill Moyers pointed out how everyday people — “who may not be heroes in the grand sense of redeeming society” — can still relate to a protagonist’s transformation, allowing even the most outwardly meek of us to embark on an inner kind of hero’s journey. The simple act of reading a novel, then, can give us a psychological shot of courage, encouraging personal growth while reducing anxiety. In fact, there’s even a term for this phenomenon: bibliotherapy. First coined by Presbyterian minister Samuel M. Crothers in 1916, bibliotherapy is a combination of the Greek words for therapy and books. And now author Alain de Botton has created a bibliotherapy service at his London company, The School of Life, in which bibliotherapists with PhDs in literature introduce people to books that de Botton states, “…are important to them at that moment in their life.” The author of How Proust Can Change Your Life, a book that explains the significance of literature and how it gives insight into one’s own journey, and Status Anxiety, a nonfiction book about overcoming the universal anxiety of what others think of us, de Botton blends literary fiction and self-help through his bibliotherapy service. Dubbed a “brilliant reading prescription” by de Botton, this therapeutic approach helps encourage emotional healing by matching whatever personal challenges a person is going through with specific literature. Of course, the concept behind bibliotherapy is nothing new. Inscribed over the door of the ancient library at Thebes was the phrase “Healing place for the soul.” And among the many examples of bibliotherapy practices over time, both Britain and the United States established patients’ libraries in hospitals during the First World War, where librarians used reading to encourage recovery for soldiers with physical as well as mental trauma. Now, science is proving the mythologists, authors, and librarians right. A recent study at Emory University has shown that novel reading enhances connectivity in the brain as well as improving brain function. Published in the university’s eScienceCommons blog on December 17, 2013 by Carol Clark, the lead author of the study and neuroscientist, Professor Gregory Berns, is quoted as saying, “The neural changes that we found associated with physical sensation and movement systems suggest that reading a novel can transport you into the body of the protagonist.” Clark also writes that Berns notes how the neural changes weren’t just immediate reactions, but persisted the mornings after the readings as well as for five days after participants completed the novel. Good stories, then, not only help us relate to the hero’s journey, as Joseph Campbell pointed out, but the act of reading them actually can reconfigure brain networks. This means that not only are we able to escape from our problems while reading, it also increases compassion to another’s suffering — as well as perhaps to one’s own — which can be a major aid to self-growth and healing, as well as helping to decrease anxiety and depression. Readers have intuitively known this all along. No authors, mythologists, or scientists need to explain to the readers who responded to a question in the Social Anxiety Network (posted in March 2012) about whether reading helps anxiety and depression. As one respondent said, “For me reading lets me escape into another ‘world’ it’s like I become the protagonist,” while another reader shares, “Definitely — it takes me to another world for a while and gets my mind off of obsessing over my problems, anxieties, etc. Reading a good book is always relaxing therapy for me.” Looking at both the scientific and anecdotal evidence, it’s apparent that researchers and readers are on the same page. So remember that a prescription for your distress may just be an arm’s length away — to your bedside table, where that novel is patiently waiting for you to step inside and embark on your own inner journey. First Published in Psych Central Magazine
Author Tracy Shawn enjoys visiting local book clubs and is also available to Skype as a guest author at one of your book club gatherings. Please feel free to contact her on her website: http://www.tracyshawn.com/contact-t-shawn/
Tracy Shawn lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her award-winning debut novel, The Grace of Crows, is about how an anxiety-ridden woman finds happiness through the most unexpected of ways—and characters. Hailed as a deeply moving heroine’s journey and a story that lingers in the mind long after the finish, The Grace of Crows has also been regarded as a powerful fictional read, which paints an accurate portrayal of generalized anxiety disorder and a healing opportunity to the reader. |
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