Article by Richard Morley Edited by Maureene Danielle Blog post design by Christy Zigweid Photo by laterjay via Pixabay CC Photo made using @WordSwagApp I know I have not posted recently – but I’ll give myself a bit of a break because we had a new arrival – the birth of our (second) son Carter. So it seemed apt to start writing again following this post from The Duchess of Cambridge about the mental health of young children. I definitely won’t claim to have had a bad or traumatic childhood – I am lucky to have grown up with two loving parents. Thinking of the future, I would like to make sure that I prioritize the mental health of my sons more than I prioritized my own. I want to make sure they are supported, listened to (without me worrying that I’m not doing enough as a parent) and encouraged to talk about their feelings. I want them to be equipped to deal with the things that life has to throw at them, because I’m already learning that as parents we can’t always change what happens to our children in life (as much as we might want to). Most importantly I want them to be able to be there for each other. Our children will deal with more pressure and stress than we ever thought possible as children. Social media and our now ‘always connected’ environment through mobile devices simply didn’t exist when we were growing up – but now it’s a part of normal life. A life that as parents we won’t understand – to put it into context; I didn’t have a mobile phone until I was 17 (and I think I was an early adopter) I know children as young as 11 who have iPhones – and its estimated that smartphones are now in the hands of up to 80% of secondary school children. We are with our children in the evenings, at the weekends, when we do things as a family – but they are often on their own when they are using their smartphones, in the digital world. How do we start to reduce the stigma around mental health issues? Talking about our own mental health and feelings (appropriately of course) as parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, guardians, the list goes on; has to be the best example to set – to create an environment where our children can be open, no matter what the problem – by simply making it a normal part of family life We’ve got to get started, if this survey by the DfE on twitter is anything to by… So to steal the hashtags from two brilliant campaigns around mental health it’s #timetotalk because #youngmindsmatter About the Author Richard Morley is an advocate for mental illness. You can find out more by visiting: http://worrymuch.co.uk/about/
You can also find Richard on Twitter
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Mental Health Flash Cards are a tool designed to distract us from all of our distractions. They are supposed to help us refocus on the important things and truths in our lives. Mental illness took a lot more than my happiness and physical health in my teens and 20’s. It took away my confidence, hope, faith, and trust in myself and others. I went into isolation, away from friends, family, and society for over 5 years because I felt like no one understood me, nor would they ever. I felt like people were always giving me advice such as “go for a walk, read a book, volunteer,” which is great, but they did not realize that I did not even have the tools to do this. I could not walk, not because my legs would not move, but I did not even have the thought or confidence in myself that I could actually accomplish a short walk. It was like I had a mental paralysis and I could not connect the dots from me staring at a wall in my room to actually achieving a walk. There are a ton of things that have to happen in between these 2 events. For example, getting my breakfast; I would have to put on clothes (preferably one’s that I would be comfortable walking in), I would need to have the confidence to show my face in public, I would have to know how to communicate (or at least understand simple things like traffic and pedestrian laws, directions, balance, strength, resilience, etc.) Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier if the person that came in to tell me “go for a walk,” also added, “Hey Joe, I know it is hard, but I have faith in you. You used to walk just fine a few years back. I can walk with you. We can get in at least a mile today, and I promise we will work on it until you are comfortable walking again. You are strong. You can do this. I will be there if you start to feel dizzy or anxious. I will never judge you.” By looking at these cards we can start to rebuild all of the things that are broken that others, including doctors cannot see. Mental Health Flash Cards are your coach when you cannot afford a coach. Mental Health Flash Cards are your friend, when you cannot find a friend. Mental Health Flash Cards are designed to bring your focus back to you, because in the end you need to be happy with you before you can start accomplishing tasks for others again. I hope this tool helps you and I look forward to making more and sharing them with you. Thank you and remember, I have faith in you. Joe Joseph S. Fusaro credits writing with helping him dig his way out of a serious bout with bipolar 1 (manic depression) in his late teens and 20's. Joe was a cast member in the 'This Is My Brave' New York City show this past October and looks forward to using his experience with mental illness to help others realize there is hope for a positive and productive future. In addition to music and poetry Joe has blogged for the mental health organizations NAMI, Conquer Worry, and This Is My Brave. Joe published his first book, a chap book featuring poetry and lyrics he's written, called A Little More Time and it's available for purchase on Amazon.com. A portion of the proceeds from the book are donated to This Is My Brave. Connect With Joe: Twitter: @jsfusaro Instagram: @jsfusaro Website: www.hellopoetry.com/jsfusaro The Story of The Dutch Hunger Winter In 1944, at the end of World War II, food supplies became scarce in the Netherlands and a harsh early winter set in. This resulted in an well documented, awful famine. The Dutch kept great records so researchers have been able to study the long term effects on the children of women who were pregnant during this period. Researchers think that these children, as fetuses, had their nervous system changed as their mother struggled with starvation. 60 years later, these children are found to(1): .
It is important to not blame your parents or upbringing on your struggle, but to accept that there could be many factors that drive your anxiety. Managing your mental health is a battle.........it helps to know the roots of what you are fighting.
Please seek professional medical help if you are struggling. Jay Coulter Tracy Shawn comes on the ConquerWorry(TM) Podcast to discuss how reading a novel could help someone struggling with anxiety. Tracy is the author of 'Grace of Crows' which can be purchased by clicking the affiliate link below: Tracy Shawn, M.A., lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her award-winning debut novel, The Grace of Crows, is about how an anxiety-ridden woman finds happiness through the most unexpected of ways — and characters. Click here for more information about Shawn, or click here to visit her author page on Facebook. Follow her on Twitter: @TracyShawn. The opinions expressed are her own.
Winston Churchill was one of the greatest leaders of the 20th century. He led Britain through its darkest hour and helped the west defeat nazi Germany.
He also struggled with his mental health as he battled the 'Black Dog' of depression. This short podcast outlines what I believe to be his five keys to mental resilience. If you like the podcast, please leave a review in iTunes and subscribe on YouTube.
My first panic attack was at the beginning of college - and I was terrified and frozen at the same time and my response was to retreat.
It was the beginning of a long journey that ended with me in alcohol rehab over a decade later. It took me that long to come to terms that I suffered from anxiety and depression and deal with it in a way that allowed me to move forward. Right now, I am writing this with an ice pack on my right knee - part of my recovery from competing in a half marathon on the weekend. My life has turned completely around since I stopped worrying - and learned some positive strategies to manage my anxiety and depression - and of course stopping drinking alcohol. Now, I have run my second half marathon. Running long distances is just the most perfect way to get present in the moment and fall into a self meditation. Nothing, and I repeat nothing, can be on your mind when you are running up a hill and you are puffing and feeling the pinch. The other not-so-secret I have enlisted is yoga. Yoga is a deep body massage that you give yourself. It is as complete and utterly refreshing as you choose it to be, and it comes with a ever-helpful dose of humility and body awareness as well. I do yoga four mornings a week at 6am and it is a lovely way to welcome the day - being 41 years old surrounded by nimble twenty somethings. My anxiety and worry are still there, just that I have worked on myself enough for it to be minimised. Also, I am a voracious reader of self help and personal development books. And you can never have enough little life strategies to assist you when you need support. Overcoming anxiety and depression has come at a huge personal cost for me. I am estranged from my family through several exhausting incidents, and I have changed career and jobs multiple times as the situation demanded. I have lost so much to this condition, but it has not broken me at all - it has become a part of who I am. Now, I am complete and understanding and tolerant and accepting - mostly of myself and more and more so toward others. I beg you to be open and willing to explore ways to lessen the impact that anxiety, worry and depression has on your life before you start to lose things that are precious to you. Namaste. Bren Murphy
Bren Murphy has written two books on Living Without Alcohol and edits a Sober Recovery website at AlcoholicLife.com A Husband and Father of three daughters, he maintains his yoga and running whilst working from home as a writer. He is focused on helping courageous people embrace the life changing magic of recovery and sobriety.
Social Media Links Twitter: https://twitter.com/br3nmurphy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/br3nmurphy Google+: https://plus.google.com/wm/1/+BrenMurphy1 Bren Murphy: http://www.brenmurphy.net/ Alcoholic Life: http://www.alcoholiclife.com/
The first time melancholia, depression, anxiety – and by this I don’t refer to just a brief spell of the blues, which most people experience at times during their life – knocks you sideways it’s a case of, ‘you never knew what was coming ! Unless it was related to a serious problem in the sufferer’s life, such as bereavement, divorce, loss of their job, initially you can’t determine what’s wrong other than the dreadful effects. So, to the uninitiated, the initial signs of the onset of the Dark Night of the Soul are often a strange sense of unease and concern, even though nothing is outwardly amiss but, nonetheless, the queasiness and the unsettled mood are tangible and disturbing.
The abrupt early morning waking, usually before 5.00am each day, is hard to comprehend until, along with the shock of fear, dread, nausea and panic as to what the forthcoming day offered, it becomes a regular and frightening pattern. This waking is often so sudden and abrupt that it can be likened to the shock of having a bucket of ice cold water tipped over the sleeping body. Drenched in sweat on a cold Autumn morning and totally lacking in appetite until night fall, a deep depression would fail to lift, even if no crises occurred during the day. Occasionally, these demons could be seen off temporarily, but never totally banished, by an evening’s alcohol only to return by morning. During the gut-churning morning drive to work each day, the previously experienced pleasure of turning on the car radio to music in order to lift the spirits would, conversely, have the opposite effect as records recalled from happier, carefree, times only deepened the depression, evoking a sense of nausea and despair, drenching me in a clammy sweat even before I reached the purgatory of work where minor setbacks took on the magnitude of major proportions. Existence began to take on the quirks of a sadist as the odd optimistic moments, which offered a straw to clutch at, were rapidly dispelled at the first sign of some pessimistic mental signal, triggered, maybe, by something as ‘daft’ as a dark scene or episode in a television play or film. This was my lot the first time……. Michael Daniels
I am aged 68 and retired, though I have been providing help part time to the company I worked for, for over 20 years and retired from 3 years ago. I worked for most of my adult life as a Quality Manager in Industry. I am married and have two grown up children and four grandchildren. I read a lot and am currently halfway through an Open University degree course in Philosophy and Psychology.
Connect on Twitter: @Leveller49
There are times when we have an idea that, on the surface, seems like it will be a good fit. The expectations seem reasonable and attainable, we may even have experienced success in the past. We know to anticipate a few ups and downs but for the most part, feel confident that the day will go well.
I had one of those days this week. We had made a plan to attend an amusement park with relatives. This type of outing has always gone quite well in the past. It was quite chaotic trying to get ready to leave that morning, but we finally made it onto the highway. It was a 1.5 hour drive to get to the park. We arrived and met up with another cousin who we hadn’t seen in a while. Everyone was excited to go in and start exploring the park and the rides. Smiles, laughter, boasting about previous experiences. Happiness. Within fifteen minutes of our arrival, anxiety took full control. It is always hard to watch this happen because you know that your child doesn’t choose this. The things that happen, the words that are said, this is the anxiety roaring and asserting itself as master. Anxiety chose escape as it’s only strategy that day. Escape was all that could be thought about. Get.Me.Out.Of.Here.Now. These moments are hard for a parent. You don’t want to “give in” by simply getting up and leaving. You need to do a very good assessment of the situation and determine the likelihood of being able to turn things around. You need to provide the time and opportunity to calm, to re-frame, to try again. And you need to set aside all your own hopes and expectations YOU had for the day, and really listen to what your child is trying to tell you. It was pretty clear that anxiety wanted nothing to do with the amusement park, but I still tried. We walked for a bit, hoping that the movement would help. It didn’t. We sat on a bench. Just sat there. Nope. We left the park and sat in our truck. I saw the anxiety loosen its hold a bit then. Muscles unclenched. I wasn’t ready to give up yet. We continued sitting there. Sometimes talking, sometimes not. Just allowing ourselves time. There just wasn’t going to be enough time on this day. That’s the thing about anxiety. It doesn’t give you a solid timeline for recovery. Ever. Sometimes we are able to manage it quickly and continue on with our day; and other times, like this day, it holds you tightly in its grip. Not willing to move on. When we finally drove out of the park, sleep took over. A full hour of sleep. Ah-ha. I started reflecting on the clues and the signals that had been sent my way. The excitement of the coming day had interrupted our sleep the night before. My child had provided me with clues earlier that morning, but in the rush to get ready to leave I didn’t give them the attention I should have. I thought about all the expectations I had recently placed on my child – we have been travelling to visit relatives – our time in the vehicle has exceeded 30 hours in the past ten days. Our longest stay in one place has been four days. And you know what? My child, this boy who craves routine and quiet and space, he has coped so well with this trip. Sometimes when things are going so well, we forget to pay attention to the details. We forget to look at and honour what it takes to cope with such a deviation away from our typical, quiet, predictable days. We assume that because things are going well they will continue to go well, forgetting all the energy that it takes to manage and cope. As he slept in the seat beside me, I could have embraced my own mom guilt about what had happened at the park, but instead I chose to think about all the successes we have already had on this trip. When he woke up we had a chance to talk about what had happened. He gave voice to all that I had been thinking about while he had been sleeping. It had simply been too much. We talked about our plans for the coming days. We would be staying in one place for the remainder of our trip. We would become more predictable and I would pay more attention to the signals he was giving me. When we arrived back home, we let the dog outside to play. Our child has a lot of anxiety about his dog being out off-leash, he is worried our dog will run away or get hurt. But on this day, the one that had been so hard, I asked my son to let me show him how our dog would listen and run with me when he was off his leash. Only for a minute. Reluctantly, he agreed. But he wanted to run with the dog, not me. I smiled as he unhooked the leash, and I directed him to run towards an outbuilding and then back towards me. It was a beautiful moment. Anxiety was replaced by JOY. My boy laughed and marvelled at how fast our dog could run, how quickly he could switch directions. He let the dog stay off leash for the rest of the time we were outside. And in those moments, my son had released his own tether to anxiety and both of them were free. Karen Copeland
Karen Copeland lives in Abbotsford BC. She has two children and has extensive experience navigating School, Health and Ministry Mental Health (children and youth) systems to obtain the services her family needs and deserves. Karen shares her experiences with others to create a broader understanding and awareness of the challenges families face when their child has a mental health challenge.
Connect With Karen Blog: http://championsforcommunitywellness.com Facebook: Champions for Community Mental Wellness Twitter: @KarenCopeland3
What does mental illness look like to you?
Someone who sits in bed all day, unable to face the world? A person who goes around crying all the time and is never happy? Or perhaps even a nutter who shouldn’t be alone with children? The reality is far less interesting. For you see, mental illness looks like…me. Or your brother, sister, mum, dad, uncle, friend, cousin. Even your son or daughter. Maybe even you. 1 in 4 people in the UK suffer from some form of mental illness. That’s an incredible number isn’t it? But despite what the newspapers, television programmes or social media might lead us to think, we’re not all nutters and weirdos. Most of us are normal people going about our business. Let me ask you a question. Before I opened up about it, did you know that I suffered from depression? What about anxiety? And here’s another question. Do you know that I still do? Or did you think I was all cured now? How many of you have stopped to ask? How many of you even know what depression and anxiety are? Depression is not being in a state of permanent sadness. Sufferers do not walk around constantly on the edge of tears. Most of us are not bed ridden or house bound recluses. Depression doesn’t care if you are happy or sad. As a matter of fact, depression is in some ways the complete absence of emotion. Life loses meaning, there is no joy to be found, no matter how we may be blessed. We exist because we have to but we do not live. Not really. But mental illness isn’t a real illness, is it? It’s all just in the head. It’s not like having cancer or breaking a bone. That’s real, I can see that, it’s physical. Well let’s put that myth to bed. Mental illness is real and believe it or not, it is physical as well as mental. Quite apart from the complex chemical imbalances that cause depression in many sufferers, symptoms include the very real physical properties of loss of energy, poor concentration, changes to diet and changes to behaviour. Sufferers may withdraw from life, isolate themselves. But even without these physical manifestations, the mental anguish is difficult enough. Imagine being told every day that you’re no good, that you’re stupid, that you’re ugly, that you’re fat, that you’re a failure, that you get everything wrong, that everyone hates you, that you don’t deserve happiness, that you can never change. Now imagine that this voice is your own. That is what it feels like to live with depression and anxiety. But if it’s all in the head, just stop thinking that way, right? Just forget about it, don’t take things so seriously, pull your socks up, get on with it, think how lucky you are! Oh if it were that easy. Depression is not feeling down because your favourite programme just finished or because they didn’t have any beans at the supermarket. Depression is a persistent, pervasive lowering of mood. It can come quickly, perhaps triggered by a specific event, or come on gradually. And anxiety is not worrying that you’ve run out of milk or that it might rain at the weekend. Anxiety is a state of hyper stimulation, locked in a constant state of readiness for an event that will never come, expecting the worst. Stress is not the enemy. Stress is a friend that gives us the impetus to move forward. But anxiety and depression hit when the stress becomes too much for too long. Like a kettle constantly at boiling point but never able to shut off. Or the elastic band, so pliable until you pull too hard for too long and it snaps in two. Mental illness destroys lives. Sometimes it even ends them. I am lucky. I had the opportunity to undergo therapy. I spent three months in a mental hospital, surrounded by patients with a broad spectrum of illness; from depression to OCD, bi-polar to self-harming. In some ways my mental illness cost me my job. At least it didn’t cost me my life. But two years on, I am far from cured. I am wracked by anxiety on a daily basis. Depression remains an uninvited guest, constantly banging on the door to come back in. Sometimes I let him, it becomes too difficult to say no. But it’s even harder to get him to leave. I decided to be open about my illness because I wanted to change and to show others that mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. But many others are fighting their own private battles or suffering in silence. Together we can end the stigma around mental illness. Mental illness is not mental weakness. Scott Delonnette
I am a married father of twin girls and a young son.
In 2013 I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and spent three months receiving treatment at the Priory Hospital in Roehampton. As part of my recovery, I began exploring mental illness in blogs and stories and in 2014 I self-published three collections, which are available on Amazon. Recent pieces published on my website include a series exploring how a healthy living plan affected my mental health and a look at the highs and lows of being a parent whilst battling mental illness. I also write weekly retrogaming articles for a videogaming website. Website: http://1066allstars.webs.com/ Twitter: @Dirkgently1066 |
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March 2018
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