A few people have asked me whether I know what I'm going to blog about before I start writing. Sometimes yes and other times no. To help me, I've made a list of topics I want to cover and keep adding to it, but I write whatever I feel like that day. I make sure I plan a time to sit and write, but don't know what will come out until I write 'hello...' I normally type very quickly and the words flow, so I've never started writing a blog and deleted it or not been able to finish it.
People give me topics sometimes that they are interested in and I'm able to write about them, but others I don't have any experience of and want to keep my blog open, honest, and helpful. I can't write about what I have no experience or feelings of. Something might happen in a day or I might be thinking of something and know that's my next blog and I can start it mentally before getting to my computer.
I like to think about what would have helped me to read when I was diagnosed and focus on that to help others. I find blogging therapeutic because whatever I have written about I have been able to think about, reread, read it to my husband, and talk about it. I also know my loved ones can read it and understand me better.
Another question I am asked a lot is what I feel like being so open on the internet. Knowing anyone can read it, using my real first name, using my personal photos, and sharing the links on my Twitter and Facebook accounts. So how does it make me feel? At first I was nervous. It's a big deal to say "this is me" so publicly. But it all started with my first vlog on YouTube about my depression. I needed to speak about it even if it was to a camera. I planned to keep the video for myself but after watching it, I got the courage to put it on. I'd relied on YouTube videos for information when I was first diagnosed and thought the more videos out there, the better for others. It soon turned into blogging because I prefer to write and my camera wasn't the best!
I was a little worried about my new work colleagues and future new friends reading it if they came across it but soon got over this. This is me and I'm proud to be me and what I'm writing about. New people in my life will soon get to know the real me and my blog is 100% real.
I'm not too worried about trolling. It happened on my Twitter account so I replied a little, then blocked the person. I didn't need to deal with that or justify myself, but I wanted to put my side across and I didn't argue or get personal, I just stood my ground and fought the corner for others. What they said about depression was harmful and needed a reply!
I am worried whether it isn't getting viewed or getting shared enough. I want strangers to see it and I want it to reach people and do some good or give someone some hope out there. But then I have received thank you private messages from people telling me how much the blog has helped and my page views keep going up so that is why I'll continue to blog. Most importantly I enjoy doing it and it helps me too.
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